MY VIEW: Be still, my angsty heart

Columnist Dusty Barron

Columnist Dusty Barron

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  Here’s the deal, my dudes: Valentine’s Day sucks. Yes, that is my angsty little #ForeverAlone bitter heart speaking, and that’s okay.

  I was talking with a friend, relating my excitement about telling all of you how much V-Day is commercialized and the loads of unnecessary pressure. He just chuckled, saying, “Of course you are. That’s every angsty teen’s dream.” I mean, he’s right, but that isn’t the point.

  I don’t like the concept. I didn’t like the concept when I had a boyfriend. I likely won’t like it when I am married (“If I ever actually get married,” my angsty heart screams). We shouldn’t need a day to spoil each other. To tell that special person that they are special. To make the florist dizzy with the sheer volume of orders. We should not have to feel like it’s okay to tell that person that we have a crush on them just because it’s Feb. 14. We should not keep people waiting, in that agonizing inner monologue (plucking petals off daisies chanting “He loves me, he loves me not”) just because we want the start of our relationship to be “special”. Ask us out now. Don’t wait until the day of the year tells you to do so. You with me? We should buy each other flowers as often as we can. Parents should get a sitter and go to a nice restaurant whenever they can afford it. Cute, sappy, painfully awkward movies about love should come out year round (“Even though they’re cliché, and I hate them,” my angsty heart adds). 

  That’s another thing! The pressure. I saw an ad on Snapchat that was basically “hey, dudebros, spend $45 on this bear MADE OF ROSES, and your girl will finally be happy this year.” You’re kidding, right? I don’t even like roses! Or teddy bears. Honestly, guys. If you must get them something, it’s just like when you got them a birthday/Christmas gift: listen to them. Learn what they like. Even the pressure of oh-I-can’t-spend-Valentine’s-Day-alone!’ is too much. (“Our society is braaaaainnnwasssshiiingg us,” my angsty little heart sings.) The “gotta break up before V-Day so I don’t have to buy a gift” and “gotta get the right gift” and “gotta go to the right restaurant” and the rest of the million “gotta”s have to stop. Please. You’re giving yourselves hernias.

  Yes, I am a little bitter because I don’t have anyone as the special, super gross day rolls around. I will watch the girls in the halls with the bears that are bigger than them, I will see the endless bouquets in the front office, and I will feel (more than a little) jealous. 

  My sophomore year, I started dating after Valentine’s Day on Feb. 15. When the time came, I begged him not to make a big deal of the Big Day. I felt it was stupid. I still do. I have a bitter little angsty heart, and I probably always will.