I didn’t realize that to achieve more, I would have to work more.

The switch from regular classes to advanced placement/concurrent classes has been a rough one. When I signed up for college algebra and biology, AP English and AP economics/government, I mentally prepared myself even though I had no idea what to expect and no knowledge of the onslaught of extra work I had in store.

Since freshman year, I decided I would not deal with the extra work that advanced classes would undoubtedly bring. Junior year I realized that I was an ambitious person who wanted to attend college and have a career that pays well. My GPA was average even though I made great grades.

Now I’m here. Half of my school day I’m stressing over newspaper, broadcast, yearbook and editing deadlines, while the other half I struggle with advanced classes.

On more than one occassion I have stayed up into the night frantically working on something due the next day, and let me clarify something–I love my sleep. If things go my way, I get eight hours every night. I’m definitely not a night owl–I’m a morning person. With this new choppy night schedule, I am now without energy or motivation. The carefree energy I once held so dear has dissipated.

But I’m too far gone. This first six-weeks (actually five) has come to an end. If I back out now, I did everything for naught. I’ve had to remind myself why I gave up the perfect sleep schedule and my very own sanity.

I want a career. I haven’t decided what exactly. I would be the first in my family to ever go to college. It’s been a tough road. I don’t have anyone close to me who can give me advice or help in that area. It makes me doubt that I’ll even go to college.

The point I’m trying to get across here is that I made my senior year difficult because I have a point to make to myself and the people around me. I’m going to prove that I mean business and that I can make it. This may not make much sense to people who take it for granted that they will go to college. For me, there’s this barrier that must be broken to get there, and it’s hard to explain with words.

Because the odds aren’t in my favor, I’m working twice as hard for something, even if I don’t know what that something is yet. I just really hope that I can find at least a few days where I don’t have something due.