MY VIEW: Life looks a lot harder than cooking a turkey

I was going through the drive-through at the bank the other day, and while it really should be a simple task, depositing and cashing a check is something I always fear. First, I never know my account number because I lost the card they gave me when I opened a savings account. Second, I always get confused when it comes to how to fill out those slips regarding what you want to do with your money.

I realize that I probably sound really irresponsible and clueless when it comes to “adult” things, but honestly, well, I really have no excuse. So anyway, I was sitting in my car at the bank, and I attempted to fill out one of those slips, and apparently, I wrote something wrong. I was kind of nervous (and embarrassed to the point that I wanted to sink down deep into my seat and drive away) because it was taking longer than normal for them to send anything back through the magic tube. When I finally got the envelope, I found several pieces of paper with it. The lady working the window I had selected took the time to make example slips of paper so I could reference them in the future. Needless to say, I am grateful to that wonderful, nameless lady in whose debt I am forever beholden.

I tell you that story to show that even the most seemingly simple “adult” things can become overwhelming and quite terrifying. As a high school senior looking toward the near future away from my parents and sweet ladies at the local banks, it is enough to cause a major breakdown–ugly tears and all.

The idea that in a few days over eight months I’ll be a graduate and only a short summer away from being at college and on my own is thrilling, but some moments, it’s also horrifying. I don’t look forward to all of the awkward times of not knowing what to do in line at the bank or filling out paperwork for a job or school and wishing my mom was right there beside me.

There are so many little things I don’t know yet, and I fear there isn’t enough time to learn them all. Last Thanksgiving I freaked out because I didn’t know how to prepare a turkey. As a 16-year-old at the time, no one expected me to know how, but I got ahead of myself and thought I had to know how to do everything right then and there. I don’t know all of my mom’s little secrets about laundry, cooking, and cleaning, so the amount of times I will probably call and/or text her next year to ask what to do when I’m feeling completely lost will be ridiculous.

To say I’m scared to death of what’s to come would be an understatement. I am absolutely frightened of failing at life and always holding up the line at the bank. I guess failure is something I’ll learn to be okay with. Over and over again. Through numerous embarrassments and failure time and time again, I still have hope that eventually I’ll properly be able to juggle this thing called life. I know I’m not always going to rock at being an “adult”, but I am willing to struggle a little here and there if it means I get some funny stories to share and some crazy, exciting adventures to experience.

I am going to keep attempting to grow and learn. And in the midst of this journey, I will keep thanking the people who help me deal with confusion and failure with grace and some kind of dignity.

[This column is dedicated to that kind lady at the bank and my parents- without them, I would be so lost and hopeless.]