After 13 years of mandatory school, wouldn’t it seem likely that I’d be ready to have my own life? Not so. I wish I were ready for it, but all the other years of my life seemed to go by so slowly, it never seemed like I would ever graduate and become an adult. Now it’s here, and I’m asking myself, “What in the world do I do?”.
As a senior, there is so much planning and so many questions. What college am I attending? What do I want to be when I grow up? Am I ready to move out? Will I fail and come back home to live with my parents? Goodness, there’re always the same questions, and no matter how many times I’m asked, I still don’t know the answers.
I should have all this planned by now. I’m graduating in four months and college starts in August. It’s all coming so fast, and I find myself changing what I would like my career to be, which is extremely frustrating because I don’t have all the time in the world. I have to find a college, find where I’m going to live and decide which classes I’m going to take. This takes planning that I keep putting off. I know it’s hurting me, but it’s so much easier to put it on my list of optional things to do.
I don’t understand how some seniors can already have their entire lives planned. It’s amazing. I’m not a complete in-the-moment type of person–I can and do think ahead–but I find that things that are happening now are more important than things that might not happen in the future.
Applying for scholarships is a great way to find out how dedicated a student is about going to college. Money is the only reason for doing essays if you aren’t getting a grade. I hate to reveal that I’m as lazy as everybody else when it comes to school work, but essays are probably my least favorite thing about English. Having to do them for fun is not ideal. As mixed up as my words can get, I would rather talk to these people in person and make a good impression on them, than have them read an essay that never truly gets to my point.
When I pick a college, I want to be happy with the atmosphere the campus has and the teachers. This campus is going to be my home, and I want to love being there. I also want to pick the career that’s right for me. That way, when I work my entire life, I won’t get bored or frustrated with my job. I know there’s no guarantee I won’t get frustrated with colleagues, but I can avoid them…my job, not so much. I just want to love what I do and get paid for it.
If I’m going to college for a career I want it to be the right one for me and for my wallet, but there are definitely some careers I will steer clear of. For example, being a coroner. I could in no way do that. I know this because of the pig we dissected in anatomy. The first day we skinned the pig, it was fine, but coming back after the weekend was awful. The pig smelled worse every day. I had to cut its jaw open to see a nasal passage, and that still haunts me. I could never do that to a human body.
I could work in an office, but I want a more active job. I could be a personal trainer, but that wouldn’t work either. After a while, I become bored with exercising, so how could I encourage my students to keep going? I need a plan.
Figuring out my future is vital, but thinking of all the things that could go wrong definitely discourages me. When it comes to actually doing something without any help, it is much harder. At this point, I have no plan. I am frightened.