Thanksgiving is supposed to be about the three F’s– family, food and fun. It is also about no school and staying home to catch up on much needed rest. So, when my folks told me we were spending Thanksgiving visiting my older brother in Round Rock, I knew that meant eating out and sleeping in a hotel bed. Little did I know that there was more bad news lurking. We would be having Thanksgiving dinner at my brother’s girlfriend’s parent’s house with 23 total strangers. Yippeeeeeeeee! Holidays with the in-laws!
We arrived about an hour before lunch, and before getting out of the car my brother informed my mother that she had better keep her purse locked in the car because one of the guests was a known thief. He had just been released from prison, and he was attending with his pregnant girlfriend, whom he met while in the pen. When I met the felon, he had a “100%” tattoo on his neck–at least things were going to be interesting.
There were handshakes and introductions, and I met people I would never see again. My brother has been dating the same girl for three and a half years, and mom thinks “this might be the one,” but why did she have to drag me along?
As soon as introductions were over, it was time for the drinking to begin. Bottles of wine were uncorked and some of the younger people began to drink a beer called Ziegenbock. As the day wore on, I began wishing I were 21 years old. It was finally time for lunch. There were so many people that tables were set up everywhere. I ate in a bedroom with my dad, Aunt Edna and a cousin with hygiene so bad that I almost lost my appetite each time I looked at him. At least there was a television, so I could watch the Lions.
I am used to traditional Thanksgiving food like turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. I was not expecting jalepeno spinach, dressing that was so dry it brought memories of the Sahara desert and corn casserole. There was turkey and ham and some pretty good green bean casserole, but for the most part lunch was disgusting. For dessert, I had a piece of buttermilk pie and a large helping of screaming twin two-year-olds.
After lunch it was time for games. I chose to play dominoes with my brother, the hostess, and some guy who just sat there like a bump on a log. Seriously, I have seen more energy in a dead battery. Anyway, my brother and I waxed them pretty well, and then we headed to living room to watch others play Wii. It was interesting to say the least. Now I definitely needed a drink.
Finally, it was time to say our goodbyes. There was hugging, handshakes and a few lies. I had to tell them that I had had a nice time. However, not all was lost. When we got to the car we were relieved to find my mom’s purse had not been disturbed. As we were driving off, my brother thanked us for attending. All I could think of was, “You owe me big time.”