Senior year is not going as I anticipated. I was expecting it to be relaxed with plenty of free time to do what I wanted before heading off to college. Well, then again, that was before I signed up for three concurrent classes, and now I am neck-deep in work most of the time and stressed constantly about something.

Exhaustion is now part of my countenance, and the designer eye bags seem to be permanent. Also, I’ve learned that naps are a real thing. Never have I been able to fall asleep during the day until this year; now I end up falling asleep in the middle of doing my homework. It’s an interesting experience.

On top of regular school work, seniors are worried about scholarship deadlines, college applications, decisions about where they want to go, or still unsure of what they want to do with their lives.

I’ve often heard people complain about their parents being on their backs trying to get them to work harder, so that they can get into the college they want. I envy them. They don’t understand what having parental support for a higher education actually means. My parents didn’t support me at all for a long time. I still don’t have full support, but they have finally accepted that I am going to college.

I am the first in my family to go to college, so my parents are experiencing this for the first time. My sisters are both very glad that I’m going. They know that if I can do it, my parents will be more willing to let them go. I have heard arguments that a woman doesn’t need to go to college, that she can just be a housewife. I am not cut out for that, even though I can take care of a house.

Another argument was about my capability to take care of myself on my own both financially and physically. I am actually very excited to do adult things and take care of myself, and I really do believe I will be fine on my own. I just wish my family would refrain from putting my dreams down. I wish they could understand that my life is not what theirs was when they were my age, and that I am a different person.

I have mixed feelings about being a senior. Sometimes, I think that we shouldn’t be here already. We were just freshman, just starting junior high, just starting first grade. We have, for the most part, grown up with each other. This is all we know, but we need to go experience things, learn through living, make our stories. We need to learn that there are other ways of living and other people who, although they are different, are still worth knowing. Being a graduating senior closes this chapter, but we are still is the beginning of our lives. We don’t need to accept where we are because we have so much farther to go.