My Right-handed View: Righty proud to be a ‘northpaw’

Being right-handed, I have no reason to complain about scissors or smudging ink all over the paper when I’m writing. The world makes life easier for right-handed people because it is a right-handed world we live in.

When I was younger I was fascinated by left-handers. In kindergarten I decided to do a paper left-handed. That paper was very messy, and all I had to do was trace shapes!

My fascination with left-handers didn’t end in kindergarten. Wanting to be left-handed, I spent an entire summer doing everything left-handed when I was about 13. I even bowled left-handed (as if I wasn’t already a bad enough bowler!). I tried writing a story left-handed, but since my handwriting was so big, I had to switch to my right hand so I wouldn’t run out of paper. I wrote half the story before I gave up. I made it about three-fourths of the summer, then I quit and switched back to my right hand completely.

I am left-thumbed though. When you fold your hands whichever thumb is on top is your dominant thumb. I’m not sure what being left-thumbed means, but at least I know how to figure that information out. I’ll just add that to my “Random Knowledge I Will Never Need” list.

One statistic says more left-handed people die because they try to use machinery designed for right-handed people. Like I said, it is a right-handed world we live in. My heart goes out to all the left-handers, but seriously, how does this happen? I don’t know if it is the fact that the machine is made for right-handed people, or is it just a dangerous machine and right-handed people also get hurt using it. It is just more interesting saying that left-handers die because the machinery is designed for right-handers.

Being left-handed is an inconvenience. When a left-hander writes, if they don’t curve their hand around awkwardly, they smear what they just wrote because their hand drags through the mark. Right-handed people don’t have that problem. I suppose Hebrew left-handers don’t have the smudging problem (because they write from right to left). Then the right-handers would have to put their hand in the uncomfortable position. I’m glad I’m not Hebrew.

An example of another inconvenience is the wedding ring. You put your ring on your left hand so it is closer to your heart but if you’re left-handed it would get in the way.

Let’s face it. Right-handed people have life easier! We don’t have trouble finding scissors or have to switch the mouse to the other side of the keyboard, and I don’t think I have ever had issues with smudging ink all over my papers.

Not too long ago I was signing a birthday card with a pen that used a lot of ink. I handed the card to a left-handed person for him to sign. When I got the card back my “Happy Birthday!” looked like “Humfy Burflap!” The lefty had written his greeting just to the right of mine and, therefore, smudged my signature. When I accused him, he pleaded innocent, but the purple ink on his left hand was enough to prove him guilty.

This world makes it tough for lefties to thrive, but they cope very well. I do feel sorry for left-handed people, but I am a proud right-hander! I wouldn’t change for all the left-handed scissors in the world.