Thanksgiving. A time of food, sports and lying around the house. At least that’s the man’s view of this glorious holiday. It’s the laziest day of the year.
Women see Thanksgiving as somewhat stressful. They run around trying to make enough food for everyone, making sure everyone got invited to the family gathering and overall just increasing their heart rates and the amount of ulcers that may or may not be growing in their stomachs.
Men, on the other hand, view Thanksgiving as the day of giving thanks. Thanks for a holiday off of work or school, thanks for the big flat-screen TV, thanks for football. So many things make up the perfect Thanksgiving holiday for a man.
In my family, Thanksgiving is normally when we meet at an uncle’s house or grandparent’s house and just relax and eat. We get to eat until we are about to burst, and we have to undo the top buttons on our pants. And then we eat some more because it is there, and it’s being brought to us. How can we not eat with so much food and pie?
It’s almost a guarantee that every man’s favorite food is turkey, but that’s a given, so the lesser known favorite is pie. Seriously, at my house, the women figures hide the pies until it’s time for dessert. Men have a history of rooting out the pie and devouring it.
We men go out and shoot, but not because we’re getting ready to hunt or anything. It’s just that we’re men. Nothing relieves stress like pumpkin pie and high-calibre rifles. Heck, if we could shoot pie and then eat it, we would, just to better integrate the two.
Let me address those “man myths” about Thanksgiving. History seems to think that men are the ones who carve the turkey or in recent years fry it in hot oil. You may not believe it, but that does go on at my house. I’ve seen many close-calls with frozen turkeys exploding when they hit the lava-esque oil. And I’ve experienced fingers almost being lost to the terrible jaws of the crazy automatic knife thing that we use. I’ve learned the tricks of the trade, and if you want to know how to escape the inevitable death of exploding turkey, ask me.
So while women are cooking or otherwise scurrying around, we are enjoying ourselves watching the game on TV or sleeping. It’s a holiday, we are allowed to lounge around no matter what you say. However, if you make us run to the store to buy something, get ready for us to procure something fun that you didn’t ask for as well. There is no worse idea than to send a fully-relaxed man to the store. Everything looks fun to a guy when he doesn’t have to worry about responsibility. Besides, what makes a Thanksgiving holiday better than Nerf guns with tons of extra ammunition?