While most children have visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads on Christmas, the children of divorced parents are scurrying here and there trying to breathe between visits.

Christmas is a joyful holiday filled with spirituality, Santa Claus, family gatherings, presents and/or a ton of food.

Having divorced parents, however, brings a new set of holiday challenges. It’s a constant struggle to decide where I will be each hour of the holiday break. We have four mandatory Christmases each year… in one day–sounds like a Vince Vaughn movie.

I usually have the first one at my father’s house. We rush down-stairs and the sounds of two excited boys fill the room. My little brothers, incidentally, have been waiting for Santa to come since Dec. 26 of the previous year. We dump out the stockings that my stepmother made and wait patiently to see what else Santa brought us. The rule of the house is “if you don’t believe, don’t tell your brothers”. We finish it with opening gifts from each other.

Christmas is a big deal at my dad’s house. The tree has 2,800 lights (no, seriously, my stepmother counts them) and hundreds of ornaments. Each year, she buys a new ornament to put on the tree the following year.

I then have Christmas with my mother and sister. We start out with our stockings. We love to see what Santa brought us. The rule at this house is “if you don’t believe, you won’t receive”. Every year Santa brings us toothbrushes in our stockings because he cares about dental hygiene. It’s tradition. After Santa, we open the gifts from each other. My sister and I have yearly competitions to see who can wrap a present in the most random way. She has opened a present from me wrapped in tin foil. I have opened a present from her wrapped in paper towels.

Then we go to my Granny’s house. This Christmas includes traditional Christmas lunch. My Buddhist aunt sits in the living room floor with a guitar, and we sing Christmas carols. Then my grandpa puts a Santa hat on and elects the youngest children to be “the elves”. He hands out presents, and we open them and enjoy.

After that, we rush to Seagraves to have Christmas with my step-mother’s family. They have two trees and so many decorations we can barely walk. We have supper at this house and open presents. There are so many people in this family that we draw names to see who gets presents from whom. We draw names on Christmas Day for the next year. We have 364 days to find the perfect gift. Actually the mothers of the family have 364 days to find perfect gifts. We always hope to get someone with a cool mom so that we will get cool gifts. We aren’t always lucky.

With all this confusion and scheduling, it is sometimes hard to find the spirit of the season. Don’t get me wrong, I still have visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. I just wonder which bed I will be in while having these visions.